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  1. Three Women by Lisa Taddeo | Waterstones
  2. Three Women
  3. Table of Contents

But that wasn't the point. Taddeo did investigate that storyline; in the beginning, she spent a lot of time at the Porn Castle in San Francisco. She tried writing about them.

Three Women by Lisa Taddeo | Waterstones

She really did. And she found herself getting bored.

When three women want the same man - Clip from 'My Sister the Pig Lady'

So she lit out for the rest of the country to report the stories of about 50 people, a racially diverse group of men and women, gay, bi, trans, and straight. Over time, those in the group willing to keep talking to her shrank to Most of them were women. Though they sometimes describe actual sex, they are not necessarily sexy. But they ring true. An unflinching dissection of female desire so poetically described, I forgot it was non-fiction. But other necks of that wood expressed outrage and damnation that Three Women is a narrative of women as victims, or stunted, or pathetic.

Taddeo is perplexed and annoyed at some of the interpretations of her book.

Ihre Vorteile

Here are outtakes from Shondaland. Some are ecstatic, but some have been quite critical, and my sense has been that readers thought this book about female desire was going to be about empowerment or about sex-positiveness, or maybe Metoo? Are you surprised by that side of the reception? My biggest issue with it is people thinking that they are victims or lack agency. Ultimately, these are not three stories about female desire in the world. And what being honest about desire does. LC: When we first spoke, before the book came out, you said a couple things that I find myself thinking of now.

LT : That reporter didn't speak English perfectly so I don't think they found the word they were looking for— they were probably on Google Translate. I don't have to address it in this book. There's plenty of people addressing it, and rightfully so. This book was not about what we didn't want; it was about what we do want. I wanted it to exist in a vacuum of the politics of the world. You know what? Anyway, these emotions are as old as time.

But I don't think that we see it that granularly in reality, and that's what I was interested in. The main thing is that I don't think that it speaks about desire as a whole, I think it speaks of [these women's] own desires, very powerfully. What I found is that the judgment of the community [was prevalent]. I think it's happening because of where we are in the world; I think it's happening because we don't want to hear about women's desires so much.

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As women, [judgment] makes us feel like we're looking in a mirror, it makes us angry that we're not moving ahead as a gender, or it makes us angry that other people are doing things that we wish we did or were scared to do. The truth is, I think what's really not moving the gender forward is people judging other people for their desires and what they do. Lina would pick up and drive to wherever Aidan [her lover] was at the drop of a hat; just because other people wouldn't do that doesn't mean that the core feeling in there, of wanting to be touched after being raped and then not being touched by one's husband for months, of someone wanting to be seen, [isn't true].

What desire looks like is the need and want to do something, even though you probably know you're going to be judged. The bulk of the book is reported in the third person, without your involvement, and yet you and your mother figure in the introduction and epilogue. Why did you want to include your experiences there?

Three Women

I felt that these women had given so much of their stories; not talking a bit about myself felt like I was just putting them on the block and not myself. I wanted to say that I had the same things going on, and mommy issues, which I think all of the women I talked to [had]. I wanted to frame [the stories] a bit and I didn't want to attribute to [my sources] the notion of the mother stuff, even though the women talked about it at length, and I wanted to say how I felt about it.

Maggie said it gave her closure. At first it was very difficult for her, but then we made changes: I've taken stuff out, we put stuff back in, it was collaborative to the extent that I want these women to feel validated and not feel bad about anything. Lina wants less to do with it because, for her, it was more about talking to me and less about wanting to see it reflected.

She wants other people to feel seen by her story; I don't know how much she wants to relive it. Sloane said that I made her sound cooler than she is, which is patently not true, because she is cool. It's been really good in that sense, and I hope it continues that way because that's one of the things I care about the very most in this process, how they feel.

Table of Contents

Pacific Standard's Ideas section is your destination for idea-driven features, voracious culture coverage, sharp opinion, and enlightening conversation. Help us shape our ongoing coverage by responding to a short reader survey. Author Casey Cep discusses her new book about Harper Lee's unfinished manuscript detailing the alleged crimes of an Alabama preacher and the man who shot him. The author, who also suffers from the illness, discusses her new essay collection—a fresh and visceral study of schizophrenia. The author and illustrator explains how seeing his home reduced to a "desolate plane" by the disaster inspired his latest book.

Lucasta Miller's new biography of the poet celebrates her literary triumphs while casting a skeptical eye on the society that rejected her. In her new book, Ewing uses poetry as a form of historical investigation, revisiting the deadly riots that tore through Chicago a century ago. It was just: you have to meet Sloane. She's absolutely gorgeous.

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    • I was confused, because I was like, that seems like a good problem to have. It was weird to me. So it wasn't even so much the idea of Sloane the person, but the way this community of women were awed by her. The other two women, part of the issue was that they had to go against their community.

      While reading, it was wild to occasionally remember that this book was The majority of it felt like reading straight up inner monologue. How were you able to do that? I love fiction. People can be more raw because it's not real. When it's real, it's difficult for people to be, which is why these women were so amazing. The thing I did the most—besides living among them—I would ask them the sorts of questions that I felt like I would only get by reading fiction. I would also ask the same question like a thousand times. I wanted to make sure it was the truth—not that I thought that they were ever lying—but like for Lina, there was a lot of denial going on.

      Lina also struck me as an idealist. Like she's clearly a person who loves love and wasn't getting it, but believed it was out there. And Aiden—the man with whom she has the affair —is not exactly a knight in shining armor, but he was an improvement. It was a huge improvement. But you have this amazing chemistry, and you don't want to let that go because it's kind of a biological need.

      She'd been raped as a young woman and that colored the years to come and [led to] her choice of choosing a man who, one day, would not kiss her on the mouth because he wasn't that interested in sex, at least not in the way she wanted him to be. But I think that she did that because she was afraid of that [hyper lustful] energy from another man. I don't think she was totally cognizant of that then.

      I've missed this. Even though I know this is not right for all these reasons, I don't want to give that up.